I must start with tons of praise for my local Treasure Coast La Leche League group. I attended my first meeting while I was still pregnant with my first baby and that was one of the first times I saw breastfeeding in action, as really a normal part of mothering. This is a big step (I did feel a little awkard walking in the room that first meeting but that quickly disappated - imersment is very effective), and although I ended up running into no hitches breastfeeding my two sons, I certainly had established a place to go had I needed it. More importantly, even without problems, I realized I still needed those meetings to help me through the negativity and misinformation volunteered to me countless times. Even with a strong conviction to nurse exclusively for 6 months and then partially until 1 as recommended by the AAP (which I ended up nursing my oldest until 32 months, and practically exclusively for 1 year - he still isn't a huge eater), the horrible misinformation really had me worried sometimes. Btw, WHO recommends nursing for atleast 2 years.
Before that first meeting, the other breastfeeding in public I had noticed was when one of my closest friends nursed her two-month old first born at the lunch reception of my wedding (she flew out to my wedding in HI with her two month old - how great is she?!). I remember not being shocked or weirded out (which I sort of felt others might be thinking about her) but I was definitely feeling like I didn't relate to why then, at the table, in front of everyone (for the record, she even used a cover which I never used with my boys!). So, even in my probreastfeeding mind, until I was successful at breastfeeding, I was easily swaded to add to critism of NIP (nursing in public), however subtle it was.
So anyways, I always expected I'd have a homebirth and breastfeed. My mother birthed me at home (and my brother in the hospital - not due to medical reasons, but that's a whole different story) and breastfeed my brother and I for about a year. So I thought this was normal and I loved telling people I was born at home, even though I had no recollection of these things. This is what led me to find a midwife when I was pregnant. And that midwife led me to LLL as a good resource for all things breastfeeding. I didn't think I really needed to go but I had recently moved to the area with my husband and was hoping to connect with some like-minded moms. Little did I know, just observing breastfeeding was something that had huge positive impact on the type of mother I was hoping to be. After my son was born, my own mother suggested I shouldn't nurse in front of my FIL. Mind you, in the beginning, babies nurse ALL the time so I'd never be able to hang out, or if I did take baby away and got up to leave the nursed and now sleeping baby, he'd usually wake right back up. Because I had been to that LLL meeting, I didn't feel it was necessary to worry about making others feel comfortable in my house by nursing out of site. In fact, like that first meeting for me, the comfort needed to be on the other end, those in my home needed to become comfortable with me nursing if they were hoping to see baby often. Please don't take that as I was wanting everyone to see my boob or throw in everyone's face how awesome a mother I am because I nurse. It just means I was a tired, overwhelmed, new mom that wanted to find ways to make things easier while caring for my baby's needs. Nursing on demand, whenever, wherever, facilitates this sometimes very draining responsibility.
The next thing I faced was my father telling me I had to drink tons of milk to have good nutrients for nursing (I was pretty much a cheese and yogurt person so I had plenty of diary in my diet then, as an fyi). He goes on to say how my mom was always making sure to drink milk. I objected but he went out to buy a breastfeeding book to show me how right he was (the book actually said the opposite - I couldn't believe he even presented it as evidence for his case) and continued to push more diary for my diet. Fast forward to baby #2, and baby's spitting up a lot, just like baby #1. It was then that I felt something in my diet could definitly be changed to reduce the spit up and sure enough, getting rid of diary altogether got rid of the spit up issue. So, not only were my parents pushing incorrect information, doing the opposite extreme of their misinformation actually was the most helpful for my babies. Again, seeing other LLL mothers go dairy free helped me feel that might be a worthwhile effort.
So those are my two minor run-ins with nursing from my family right from the start. My family, mind you, where my mother did breastfeed for a year with each of her babies!
Now lets go to the hospital settings. It's typical to schedule feedings (not to mention wake baby if asleep!) and measure intakes (formula's influence!). The problem is, this undermines breastfeeding. Initially, babies tend to nurse ALL the time (like nurse, fall asleep for 5 min., nurse, fall asleep and still be nursing, sleep for 20 min., nurse some more, etc.) Sure you get an hour here or there, but not much, not those first few weeks. This really is a good thing because it helps establish mother's supply (any nursing mom can attest to those rock hard boobs in the beginning) and may keep baby safe from falling into too deep a sleep and at risk (SIDS). So encouraging new moms to nurse, say, every 3 hours, is not helpful, especially, if, on that 3 hour mark, your waking baby to do so. Not for breastfeeding, atleast. Babies can start nursing while still asleep if the nipple is right there. Additionally, as milk supply starts to drop, hospitals encouraging supplementing because baby may not be getting enough (rather than put baby to boob every time he wakes) and giving baby pacifiers "to give mom rest" or span that 3 hour no feeding time (pacifing at the boob in the beginning also helps establish that milk supply) all take mom down that set up to fail path. Then there's the just pump in between feedings to try to build supply back up. This can get very discouraging because the pump is not as efficient as baby and might not extract much at all, more discouragement for mom. Additionally, the pump is way more uncomfortable, and you don't even have your baby in your arms while your doing it.
Another way hospitals make you feel you just couldn't hang is by stating they encourage bf, they know bf is best, they just provide alternative (formula) in case. This is a whole another topic... I'll get to that in another post.
Anyways, you might be 100% for breastfeeding. You might think you'll definitely rock it. You might have concerns and worry that it won't work for your family, schedule, lifestyle. You might think it's really not worth the effort. You might All I can say is, whereever you lie on that spectrum, please go to a LLL meeting. Preferably, check out a meeting before you go into labor (and grab contact information).
